Not Another Hint

I can take hints.

I've gotten many of those in the past.

It's nothing new. 

Actually, I notice the turn-out has always been the same...

Take a hint.

HAHA!

Such has been my lot. 

Gentle, innocent, honest hints in their reality,

however, they scream inside my head though "Not enough! Unlovable!"

It's quite deafening.

Made-up lies though they are, it's taken its toll. 

Let me take a deep breath. 

HAAAAAAH... 

Okay.

I can take another hint. 

Again pull away respectfully.

I've known no other way.

They deserved it.

In the end they're happy.

I'm happy for them.

But for my own happiness...

I just wish after all the hints..

The real answer come very soon.

I miss you. Could I have missed you?

I've seen you before,

and noticed something already then.

I knew not what it was to be certain,

yet I recall the feeling clear.

I was struck,

went to heaven and back.

My heart leapt, 

that memory kept.

But I had my quest

with the treasure I sought.

Within a battle

with honor, fought as ought.

Wounded in the end, 

I had it nowhere to be found, 

Or might I have found it,

was simply unaware of it?

Too naive to know

what a precious gem one really is?

From the empty rubble came an epiphany

and an omen pointing towards you.

Come to think of it,

it was always special with you.

How things could feel so new 

and emotions be so raw.

How imperfections highlight what is beautiful.

And the beautiful makes one lost in admiration.

To feel this rich and lucky in your presence-

could you be...?

The one I care for now,

I know not how you feel.

The person I value so much,

do you see me not?

My friend, my dear,

may I stand a chance?

I've seen you again,

and noticed something different.

I know it's love,

the feeling is clear.

I am struck.

That without you now, the world seems black.

My heart is beating, longing, hoping,

for dreams to now come alive.