With You Is Happiness

I get all giddy and excited once again,

in a moment another encounter.

Noticed you standing close,

I wait, in pretense of  being oblivious.

It was but a second, that look, that greeting with the smile,

yet the melting feeling remains with every recall.

The laughter, the conversations, if only would last a bit longer,

and to be beside you, please, make it last forever. 

With you is happiness,

total bliss and surrender.

Dazed, enchanted,
I lose all sense of time.

Until the inevitable, 
only for now I pray.

The night ends, we part ways,

My heart still pounding.


Sigh.... 

It breaks, cries...
'til the next time.

I miss you. Could I have missed you?

I've seen you before,

and noticed something already then.

I knew not what it was to be certain,

yet I recall the feeling clear.

I was struck,

went to heaven and back.

My heart leapt, 

that memory kept.

But I had my quest

with the treasure I sought.

Within a battle

with honor, fought as ought.

Wounded in the end, 

I had it nowhere to be found, 

Or might I have found it,

was simply unaware of it?

Too naive to know

what a precious gem one really is?

From the empty rubble came an epiphany

and an omen pointing towards you.

Come to think of it,

it was always special with you.

How things could feel so new 

and emotions be so raw.

How imperfections highlight what is beautiful.

And the beautiful makes one lost in admiration.

To feel this rich and lucky in your presence-

could you be...?

The one I care for now,

I know not how you feel.

The person I value so much,

do you see me not?

My friend, my dear,

may I stand a chance?

I've seen you again,

and noticed something different.

I know it's love,

the feeling is clear.

I am struck.

That without you now, the world seems black.

My heart is beating, longing, hoping,

for dreams to now come alive.

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I'm writing this post quite exhausted as I finished a day's general cleaning. I went through windows, window screens, the floor and the walls piling a mountain load of dust. Thankfully my nose found it manageable as I did not suffer the usual allergic reactions from the dust (I'd be sneezing heavily for hours), though my right eye does itch a bit. Anyhow, I welcome the new year with a clean room-- a physical manifestation of my readiness to start anew with a mind clear of the accumulated dirt of stress, fears, anxieties and frustrations from the year about to end, letting go of things that would perhaps hold me back from moving forward in life.

Year 2013 has been rough and challenging for a lot of people, especially those affected by the calamities in the Visayas region, and looking back I realize that for me, I had my own share of tough times-- personal and professional, financial, mental and emotional and sometimes the battle, spiritual! The experience has been whole. I went through rejections, failed businesses, personal doubts. There were times I fought valiantly, but there were times I despaired, I ran. I fell. I cried. I hurt. I bled. I quit. And there were times I wallowed in self-pity. I was in pain this year. Crisis. It felt that way. Most especially when my dad had his heart attack. I trembled at the thought of his loss...

And with all that, I am grateful. For through it all grace found me. With all the stumbling, I found my strength to get back up! With all the doubts, courage and hope pulled me back in the game! With the times I quit, there was never condemnation! There was not only one path to tread, instead new possibilities opened. In all of these events were opportunities to change, to transform, to be the person I hope myself to be. Acceptance slowly overshadowed regrets.  I learned from mistakes.While I may not have mastered all the lessons yet and not all solutions have come up, I cannot help but remain thankful for all that has been.

I am thankful for friends who sought me through dips and showed me empathy. I am thankful to all people who prayed for me and with me. I am thankful for new inspiration. I am thankful for new friends. I am thankful for family. I am thankful for I still have my father with us this new year- and with restored health. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for an addition to the family in my nephew Liam Joaquin. I am thankful for new experiences. I am thankful for opened doors. I am thankful for being able to remember who I really am. I am thankful for opportunities to mind the gap from  where I am and to where I want to be.I am thankful for life. I thank you God!

And so I welcome 2014 with a container that has room and yet is full. Because I threw out the crap! And I am filled with gratitude and wisdom. Truthfully, this new year presents new trials and challenges. But I am hopeful because I know I am a better me, and I know I am not alone. And so I lift my goals and dreams to God. This new year I declare that all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me. I am Action-driven, Prayer-led. I am God's Gracious Love. I am a daring, committed and joyful lead steward, living a gracious and empowered life now!

Happy New Year!!!

Post Scriptum

thank YOU! Cheers to a deeper relationship with you this new year!

It's one of those days...

Waiting in silence

There’s an abyss

From its depths cries of pain

Inconsolable,

Skies clear

Through its vastness a sigh of peace

Hope,

A fleeting moment

I forget,

I fall

I remember,

I move on

In this space

Waiting in silence

For grace to call